


I Hate to Go

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Home and Away [8]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 17:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7516117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the comment_fic prompt: "Any, Any, <i>I'm leavin' on a jet plane /  I don't know when I'll be back again / Oh babe, I hate to go."</i></p><p> </p><p>Evan and Jonathan during Evan's annual leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hate to Go

Jonathan lay in the darkness, watching the moonlight play across Evan’s skin. He’d come by every night for two weeks, sometimes late after spending time with his family, sometimes early, right when Jonathan was done with work at the garage. They’d settle on Jonathan’s couch together, talking about their respective days. If it was really late, both of them would be tired, and they’d kiss softly until one of them fell asleep, and then the other one would chivvy the other off to bed. If it was early enough, they’d work side by side in Jonathan’s kitchen to fix dinner, and after they’d do the dishes, and Jonathan hadn’t realized how much he missed the comfort and domesticity of having another person around for mundane things like cooking and washing dishes. Afterwards they’d retreat to the den, watch a movie together, or read together, both lost in their own books but pausing to read passages to each other, or Jonathan would sit in front of the coffee table with newspaper spread out beneath part of an engine and work on the stubborn bits that required finesse while Evan sketched.  
  
Inevitably they would end up making out. Jonathan loved the delicious press of Evan’s body against his, liked to sink back on the couch and draw Evan down with him, reveled in Evan’s solid weight on top of him, because it let him know Evan was solid, was real, was _there_. And when Evan was pressed against him just so, he didn’t have to rock his hips very far to get delicious friction.  
  
Evan’s kisses were slow and deliberate and thorough, his hands broad and warm and callused and deliberate as they traced over Jonathan’s skin, mapping, memorizing. Even when he was driving into Jonathan with vicious snaps of his hips, his mouth on Jonathan’s was lingering and soft, and Jonathan went wild with the contradiction of sensation.  
  
Some nights they were both too tired for much more than shared pleasure from hands and mouths, but on the days when Evan arrived right after work, they had all night to learn each other’s bodies, and Jonathan closed his eyes and let Evan spread him out on the bed, take him thoroughly. One day Jonathan had it timed just so that when Evan opened the front door, he happened upon Jonathan, sprawled on the couch already nude, prepped and waiting, gazing at Evan with fire in his eyes. Evan slammed the front door so hard the picture frames rattled on the walls. He locked it and crossed the den, shedding his clothes as he went, and he was gloriously naked when he finally fell upon Jonathan like a starving man at a feast. Jonathan went to wriggle himself onto Evan’s lap, impale himself on Evan’s cock and ride him till they both came, but Evan shook his head, panting, and said, “Take me.”  
  
Jonathan didn’t have to be asked twice.  
  
Those two weeks were the most glorious thirteen days of Jonathan’s life.  
  
And now they were almost over. Evan was asleep, exhausted after three solid rounds of lovemaking. His skin was lovely, pale gold in the moonlight. And he looked - peaceful. Jonathan had been awakened more than once by Evan tossing and turning, in the throes of a nightmare. If there was anything Jonathan understood, it was dreams made of the worst memories a soldier had, and he would smooth a hand across Evan’s skin, murmur reassurances till Evan settled. Tonight Evan was sleeping peacefully, and he looked young, so much younger than Jonathan would have ever dared to pursue before The Divide. But he still looked much too old for Jonathan and the face he wore now.  
  
Either way, he was beautiful, and Jonathan didn’t want to let him go.  
  
He wondered if Sara had ever done this with him the night before he was supposed to ship back out, laid there and watched him and imagined all the coming of agony of missing him. He’d always made a point of picking a very early flight so he could slip out of the house while she was still asleep, let their final round of lovemaking be their goodbye. She’d never protested, and he always pretended that he made it out of the house unnoticed.  
  
He wouldn’t let Evan go like that, couldn’t.

They hadn’t spent all their time naked together, had spent a good amount of time talking, getting to know each other. Evan had been careful not to ask much about life before The Divide, and Jonathan didn’t know how much of the letters Evan had read. Instead Evan asked about his life now, how things were going at the shop, if he still had plans to open his own shop, what he liked about opera, why he was helping Dean get into the Academy. And Jonathan learned about how Evan had grown up, the outcast on a hippie commune, the only boy among peaceful farmers and artists who wanted to be a soldier, who wanted to be part of something bigger. Jonathan learned about how Evan had never known his father, how he’d learned all he could from his mother, grandmother, and sister, in the hopes of at least being able to fake fitting in better. And Jonathan learned about Evan’s college days, his ROTC days, and life on Atlantis. It sounded like three years of constant peril in the Pegasus Galaxy had helped Rodney McKay chill out a whole bunch.  
  
Evan wasn’t kidding when he said he had a great internal alarm clock. When his family had been in town, he’d had to sneak back to his SGC-rented apartment so he’d be there when they came for him, and he seemed to magically come awake at the right time every morning. He’d been deeply apologetic that Jonathan was his so-called dirty little secret, but Jonathan absolutely understood the need for secrecy, and the only thing that pained him was that the secrecy robbed them of time they could have together.  
  
So when Evan started to stir, Jonathan knew their time together was at an end - for a whole year.  
  
Evan took a deep breath, then slid out from beneath the covers with impressive stealth, but Jonathan sat up and said, “I’ll help you pack.”  
  
Evan paused. “No, go back to sleep. I -”  
  
“I’ll see you to your car,” Jonathan said.  
  
Evan sat on the edge of the bed, bowed his head. “I don’t want to go.”  
  
“I don’t want you to go.”  
  
“But I have to.”  
  
“Believe me, I understand that.”  
  
Evan lifted his head, reached out, and curved his hand along Jonathan’s jaw. “How did this happen? How did _we_ happen?”  
  
“We both took risks,” Jonathan said, “and we got great rewards. Now come on. It’ll go faster with the two of us. We can make out some before you finally have to hit the road.”  
  
Evan nodded and stumbled for the shower, and Jonathan put on the coffeemaker, then went to join Evan in the shower. Knowing Evan would have to have a medical exam before he slipped out, Jonathan sank to his knees and suckled Evan tenderly, drew a shuddering orgasm out of him before standing up and washing him gently. They were both dried and dressed by the time the coffee was done, and then they stood in the kitchen, kissing and kissing and kissing.  
  
Evan’s watch beeped.  
  
“It’s time.”  
  
Jonathan kissed him one more time.  
  
“I don’t know when I’ll be back,” Evan said. He ducked his head. “I don’t know _if_ I’ll be back.”  
  
Those words lanced through Jonathan, hotter and more painful than any bullet or blade. He sent a thousand silent apologies to Sara, wherever she was, for having done this to her so many times. But he nodded and kissed Evan, and he whispered the words neither of them had dared to say.  
  
“I love you.”  
  
Evan went very still in his arms. Then he whispered, fiercely, “I _am_ coming back.” And he grabbed his duffel bag and was out the front door before Jonathan could say another word.  
  
Jonathan stood in the doorway and watched the tail-lights of Evan’s car fade into the darkness, and then he took himself back to bed and tried to fall asleep.


End file.
